The Trigger Is Real

How the Deaths of Anthony Bourdain and Kate Spade Impact Us

by Dawn Ennis

This article, which first appeared at Into, is expanded and revised from the original published version. It’s important to note that this report about suicide may in itself be a trigger for some readers. Help is available via the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1–800–273–8255 and Trans Lifeline at 877–565–8860. LGBTQ youth 24 and younger can find help via the Trevor Project Lifeline at 1–866–488–7386.

Four years ago today I tried to kill myself. And not for the first time; that was four years ago this past Sunday.

Hard as I have fought to put those attempts behind me, my awareness of the anniversary of these bookended breakdowns is compounded by the news of Anthony Bourdain’s suicide in France, just a few days after that of Kate Spade in New York.

Even though we who are LGBTQ lose friends to suicide at a greater rate than the straight population, and we read about members of the community taking their lives nearly every week, I don’t think we’ve seen an outpouring of public shock and despair like this since the August 2014 suicide of Robin Williams.

We’re seeing the same reaction across news media and social media: unanswerable questions of why did they do this…